Sunday, June 13, 2010

My New Chapter

OK. Well I always keep things interesting. At least I know I keep my family on their toes. I have spent the past few years ignoring something very important. Simply because it was too painful. But now that I am in a place where I can think a bit more and try to deal with the pain. I'm sure we've all had times of doubt and times when it's just easy to ignore the big Elephant in the room. You can get through the days without much introspection. Well this big Elephant has made a big pile of poop and I have to do some major spring cleaning.

As you can see with these pictures, the world doesn't care about much any more. What they think is clothing with purpose and thought is really a reflection of their soul. What a sad picture we are as humans.


 It wasn't very long ago when men and women both took their modesty seriously. When Adam and Eve realized they were naked, our Creator's answer was to provide clothing. He wanted to cover our nakedness. For generations the ones that acknowledged a higher power took this simple every day action very seriously. Once children were allowed to rebel and were saved from consequences of their actions, their desire to cover themselves in honor to their Creator died. I'm not saying that people who do this are less hungry to serve their Maker than others that do, I'm simply stating that the ignorance is evident. People dress for comfort now. This is their main focus. "I want to be comfortable". I can understand this.

I am sharing this post to explain why I am making a change in my life. My action to worship my Creator will upset those around me. I love my family and only want to at least say, these are my actions in honor to God. Nothing more and nothing less. What I am doing is not for comfort. It's not for my husband. It is not for organized religion. I'm not Jewish nor do I have plans to convert. I do believe that my Creator has given specific instructions for a happy life. It doesn't take much to infer that God wants women to be women and men to be men. My life is as unorthodox as any I can imagine, but I can still take steps be more sensitive to God's voice. I know that my beliefs don't mesh with my extended family's, but I still love my family.

These women are from four very recognizable religions. Are they trying to flaunt their holiness? No. They are trying to cover the blessing of their beautiful body fearfully and wonderfully made, it is not something to take lightly. They aren't fanatics. There is a time to be naked and a time to be clothed. I choose to embrace modesty in this way. I see androgynous people all the time. I can't tell whether they are men or women. There are no rules any more. I believe that we should cover our heads in honor to God when we pray. I think it is a physical sign of our spiritual covering. It's not a ritual. It's a tangible sign for an invisible communication. I have been ignoring my spirit for far too long so that I can be comfortable around the places I have to go. Even when I was confused about where I stood, God was always there. He never left. I know that I will upset my family by doing physical things to walk the path God has set for me. I don't think that doing these things will make me holier or somehow get my brownie points. I have never believed this. I do believe that by obeying my Father in Heaven I am acting as an obedient child. Nothing more and nothing less. I can not expect my children to obey me, if I am not willing to do the same. I know that thought without actions is dead. Your words mean nothing if they are not followed up with actions. Boundaries are good. They keep wild dogs from entering a home and keep food on a plate. I'm not in bondage to an ancient God. This is not cafeteria. I can't pick and choose what I will do in obedience to my Father. But He knows if I'm just not able to eat lima beans without gagging. He loves me anyway. I dropped the trash when He asked me to take it out. But I'm going back and picking up the remaining garbage on the ground and cleaning up my mess. In embracing this lifestyle, I am keeping my thoughts constantly on my Maker. Instead of pretending I don't hear Him because His commandments are not popular, I am publicly stating that I am different. People stare anyway. I have a cleft palate. Now they have something else to obsess about.

I have been dealing with this "out of the matrix" experience since 1996. It's not going be easy nor will it be the latest fad. I welcome questions and look forward to this new page in my life.


1 comment:

  1. Hey I would like to talk to you about this. Call me as soon as you have a chance!