Saturday, October 1, 2011


This was the temporary marker after he was buried.

I'm not sure you can see this is the picture, but he's buried next to a tower.

Yesterday was excruciating. But it was good to know that he was buried and his body was resting. Just like we don't throw away bread after we have blessed it, we bury Torah scrolls when they can no longer be used. There is a holiness to things that have holy and sacred purpose. I believe that because the breath of G-d was residing in a body the body maintains that holiness and therefore will forever be sacred. I know that the breath has returned to its origin and will have a new purpose, but my Daddy's purpose on this planet was sacred and will never be forgotten. 
I wish that I'd been able to hear stories of my Daddy from the people at the funeral, but I couldn't face the people that feel I have rejected their maker and become a Jew. They do not understand who I am now and I am a powder keg of emotion. My mother does not need me to hurt her more than I have already. Until I can deal with this and be of help to her, I must keep my distance. My goal is to be like my father, and he would not have been happy for me to say everything I was feeling yesterday. I did not have the strength yesterday to keep my tongue and in order to honor my parents, I could not attend the gathering after the funeral. 
My body is still repairing itself from losing a child and I am a mess. Please forgive my absence and continue to pray for healing.

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