Today is my 2 year anniversary of getting hired on as a permanent employee (I like that word permanent) at VALIC. Two years ago my life was very weird. Avi lived alone in his apartment. The kids were in day care for many hours every day. And next week will be a full year since Avi and I came back together. It's true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. I never imagined life would be like it is today. We both value our marriage now. We took it for granted in the beginning. When we married in 2000, we figured it would be easy. Now we work to make each other happy. We don't always succeed but at least we try now. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I am sure of one thing, today is a gift from God. Marriage counseling is a good thing. A good counselor can pull issues out of the emotional mire and make you realize how human you are. I want to be married. I want to go to work every day to provide for my family. I love my husband and need his arms around me. He is my soul mate and we were created for each other.
The story that I tell people is one that a Rabbi told me. When the souls were being created and each soul was being assigned its tsuris (hurdle to overcome) this man was watching as his other half was going to be crippled. He begged and pleaded that God would let that be HIS tsuris, to save her from that life. God acquiesced and gave it to him. When it came time for the souls to be reunited, the woman who was beautiful and had lived an easy life was horrified when the matchmaker suggested this crippled man. Why me? Why should I be burdened with a man that can't walk? I want a man that is strong and able and can grow old with me. Not be old before his time. Then God opened her eyes and gave her a vision of the time of creation. She saw that the handicap was created for her and she realized how much this man loved her and would never hurt her. They married and found peace unlike those who marry because they had things in common, were equally matched, beautiful, and meshed well. I feel it is important not to judge on the outside. Who am I to expect perfection when I am so flawed an individual? I am at peace because my match is perfect for me in so many ways that I did not understand until I almost lost him.