When dealing with illness, it is often natural to look at the past. I'm not sure if everyone is so easily pained by regret, but the regrets in my life have often been crippling to me. I have finally found the strength to deal with these dark and heavy clouds. Time does heal all wounds, but they have to be properly cared for in the mean time or they will fester. My wounds were deep and full of bitterness. During my quiet time I have taken the time to face these ugly things that I can do nothing about and realize God's hand in the midst. I just simply wrote them down. But I only allowed the good to show through. If a thought came up that would breed anger, (which was quite frequent during the process) I wouldn't allow it. After I finished, I read it again and there was such a sense of peace. I can't change the things that happened in the past, but taking a new perspective on it all has helped so much. I am working to keep a positive outlook when going through even the most painful situations, and this allows me to keep from being hurt by things outside of my control. It truly is in how you decide to look at it. I'm looking forward to a future free of regret!
You are exactly right!! I had to learn this lesson the hard way....it wasn't fun getting to it or going through the process. I had to learn that forgiveness is a daily action. And choosing to move on was my choice. For so long I would have these regrets,what if's,bitterness,anger,and resentment build and build in my heart until it became like barbed wire...festering in my heart. It hurt like hell pulling all of this wire out of my heart but until I did that...I was NOT free. I am not 100% healed but I am better. One of my favorite movies is Big Fish. There is a part where he is about to enter this haunted forest and he says "I have learned in life the harder the road the greater reward". So when I am struggling...trying to make sense of something that makes NO sense...I remember that there will be brighter days ahead and I will look back at these days and think WOW - I MADE it through THAT!! Which is going to be your story...God has amazing things in store for you. No telling who you are going to be able to help, encourage, or inspire someday. Well...you already encourage and inspire me!!! You are a great DAUGHTER, WIFE, MOTHER, NIECE, AUNT, and FRIEND to all of us!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are healing from the inside out. God does have a plan for you and I am glad to be part of your life. Love and admire you bunches.
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